25years: Wife found out I was seeing the OW first and so I broke it off with OW. That only lasted a little over a week or so and I went back to seeing OW again. After a few weeks of seeing OW again, I then confessed to W (and broke it off with OW for good). W sounds like the old you...angry and hurt, "it's over". The fear of trusting me again and being hurt again appears to be how she is feeling (based on what one of her close friends told me). W and I had been very close, but drifted apart in the last couple years with taking care of her parents. After W found out about OW the first time, we went to C to discuss OW as well as how we had drifted apart, the sex issue, and the lack of communication issue. We only got in 5 counseling sessions and then I confessed about still seeing the OW. After that, the C ended as W did not want to continue with it. So we were never really able to get into working on any of the issues. There are no grandchildren from her D. The counselor did ask her about the lack of making love. What she felt was the reason. She had stated she was gong through menopause and just figured that it killed her sex drive. he then asked her how she felt that made me feel. She said she figured it wouldn't make me feel too good, but that since we would joke about it, she didn't think it was a big deal. I'm staying physically active and eating good. Sleep is very tough. The nighttime is the worst time for me because I think about everything so much. My C has some things we are working on to try to alleviate my thoughts. Hopefully, they will work...so far, not much luck.
