Aww, Melissa... hugs for you because I'm sorry it's a yucky day that has you crying. It is definitely cold as hell and I'm still in my robe and pajamas while D16 is sleeping in MY bed.
I think I should come out and say it like Gineen did, but this time I'm yelling the emperor is naked. Your H has some faulty wiring, Melissa. Somewhere in there is a damaged little boy for whatever reason, and he's not willing to heal those parts of himself that hurt - it's so much easier to run away and blame others than to accept responsibility for why his life isn't working.
And like Gineen said, with that type of personality chip malfunction that he has, I doubt there is anything you could have done to get him to step up without some intensive behavioral therapy.
Still, it's up to you to fix the broken parts of yourself and heal them. It's a good thing, my friend. Because the hurt lets you know that you're human and fully alive, and it hurts because you DO love. You're capable of it. You're willing to do the work. If you work hard on addressing those things, you're going to be a lot happier because of it too. It's liberating and freeing once you know that you have the tools and skills to manage your own emotions and actions. But you start running by taking one step. And that first step is identifying the *why*. It's not for the faint of heart to go boldly where no man has gone before. Or at least where you haven't been as of yet.
Once you're successful at identifying those underlying issues, you'll not settle for being in Rs where someone else says jump and you say "how high" at your own expense. It's not love if it hurts you to give them what they demand. You deserve love, my friend. You really do.
Hugs. And more hugs.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
