Thank you for stopping by! It looks like we were cross-posting.
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These touch and goes are tough. However small, this is still a rollercoaster. I’m getting to the point where I think I’m torturing myself by accepting these crumbs and maybe it is better to just end it already. I just cannot bring myself to do this last step.
You took the words right out of my mouth. Why can't I pull the plug? He was awful to me. I now don't trust anything to do with him. It haunts me to think that this was not the first time he cheated on me especially during our long distance relationship. I am not afraid of the future, but still cannot take the last step. The fact that I even want anything to do with him after all that has happened makes me wonder about me.
Thanks WR. Hugs to you, too. I did not have to tackle the legal stuff and I admire you for doing it with such strength and grace.
I believe it was Bright's thread that there was a discussion regarding whether it is harder to deal with a death than to deal with this MLC/betrayal. I don't know about worse, but I think the betrayal is harder to understand - it is a person who we trusted making a deliberate succession of hurtful choices whereas death is not generally a choice.
Now, I question everything. Let the MLCer re-writes history to make themselves feel better about their choices, all I can wonder is how many times I was lied to before. The female "friends" that were more.
I guess only time will put him further in my rearview mirror. I can't see that after all this time and now a month without contact that he even wants to begin to try, not with me, anyway.
