I have been reading you since Truegritter asked me to take a look at your sitch...
I have witnessed the same patterns over and over again. Your MO is to run away from the hardest parts of this, and you tend to run away from the really hard questions.
What you are dealing with now, is the fallout from months of that.
Right now, you are the Dog that finally caught the Car that he has been chasing, and hasn't a clue about what to do with it.
Every answer that you are seeking, has been posed to you throughout your threads....
And I see the same repeated behavior within you still.
Originally Posted By: indigo
As far as what I want. I want to finally be in a great M. To be happy and really enjoy life with the two people that mean the most to me. I want this because I have spent enough of my life keeping my emotions hidden and not allowing myself to open up. I never let my W in emotionally like I should have, I'm ready to let it go now.
What are you willing to give, to gain this ?
How have you prepared yourself, in order to gain this ?
How have you learned to GIVE this, in order to RECEIVE this ???
Originally Posted By: indigo
To get there I'm willing to forgive my W for this recent mess. I'm willing to let her earn my complete trust back again. I'm willing to open myself up to possible hurt if we cannot make things work in the long run. I know that if I do not give this M my all I will only be wasting my time.
That's not a plan.
She isn't responsible for YOUR actions, thoughts or words. And I can tell you that if that is your plan ??
(If she does this, then I will forgive her)
You might as well end this right F-ing now.
What are you currently doing ( other than your pity party) to understand what SHE went through ??
To understand what "the end of an affair" really means ???
To understand that there WILL be contact through this. And that what you are looking for, isn't the fact that there is contact.
It is the fact that WHEN there IS contact, that she tells you about it, and she is NOT the one initiating contact.
What purpose would it serve, for her to contact the OM, in order to tell him that three will be no more contact ???
Seems like a redundant, can of worms there....
And only more words. The ACTIONS lie in what she chooses to do with that contact....
You have been asked some pretty good questions over the past few days. You may be answering them, you may not...
The PERCEPTION here, among the people who will understand you the most, has been that you are brushing them off, and ignoring them.
So...
Once again I ask...
What is your plan, and how are YOU working toward that ???
