melissag XII - must. detach.

[melissag]

I still don't feel 100% sure of what I want to do. I am not sure I ever will. I am beginning to think of this like the trip I went on without H, or the Super Bowl party. I wasn't sure about those things either, but I knew I needed to do them. And when I did, it helped me to move forward. The truth is, none of this is what I expected, so I will probably have to push through a lot of things I am not completely comfortable with in the coming months and years.

I was looking at the cell bill again just out of curiosity, and it turns out my H was texting the OW when I was at his place watching the AFC Championship with him and my kids, and throughout the 2 hour long power struggle with my S7. It made me feel like punching him. He sees the kids two nights a week, and there are nights he has them where he is texting with her for hours.

I think I know enough, and I will stop looking at H's texting activity. At this point I think I am just looking for things to be extra outraged about, and that's not helping anyone.

I have a call set up with my L today, and I think I just need to pull the trigger. Though I am tempted in a way to file for D, I think that is coming from a place of pride, so I think it will be S.