melissag XII - must. detach.

[melissag]

I believe it was 25 who said, when making your decisions think bout them I regards of what's best for your children.

It's great advice. I intend to follow it.

You are very fearful of how your H will " see" you or villianize you or what he will think.

You are right. I am. I find that I still jump to his defense, give him the benefit of the doubt (most of the time) and care about what he thinks of me. It's stupid. I'm reading Codependent No More, and I suspect this is the issue.

I am trying to separate that stuff from the decisions I need to make - but it's hard.

You need to be able to clearly see you are not the villain here.

I know. I just keep letting myself believe the crap my H led me to believe about myself. I feel like he has a skewed perspective of things a lot of the time, but he seems so sure of himself when he's telling me that I'm the messed up one, that I start to wonder.

I have to keep reminding myself what Betsey said about having ten character witnesses who say nice things about me, and then my H . . . .

And he is not insulting you to your face.

I was referring to him saying things like, "I'm the happiest I have ever been since I moved out." I guess it's really over email, because he doesn't have the balls to say it to my face, but still, it's a straight up insult.

He's making an ass out of himself.

That I agree with.

Thanks for the pep talk, Gineen. I really needed it. I don't know why I am being such a wussy right now. I hate it.