separated 8 weeks still on the journey

[paul19510]

I get it, but telling her where she's gone wrong won't help you feel better.

If it's time to move on, it's time to move on.

Let her go and free yourself.

bug, you are spot on. That's. What I'm wrestling with. I want to tell her I can't. Do this anymore. I want out. I personally feel based on knowing W that she's. Perfectly happy to live like this indefinately. I am not. She has a family history where 2. Sets of grandparents did exactly that. They just didn't divorce on paper. Not my idea of a good life.

[GreyMatter]

I still think this too Paul. Sometimes just bad days - why do we have to put in all this effort for something that we are unsure will even turn out and besides we deserve so much better. But there is no security that the next R will be any better and statistics are against us for consecutive M's. Nothing better to do right now then be forced to make ourselves happy and then in turn attract the better in other people. Can't be too bad right?

[paul19510]

journal: I took the W coffee at the barn. I told her I am giving up and can't live apart like this. I reminded her that I still cared for her very much but I feel that there is nothing in our current situation that is appealing to me. She said that see feels healthier apart. I agreed that this is what is it and told her I accept it.

I told her I intend to file for divorce either as a joint effort or separately(the L gave me both options and said joint would cost us less). I told her this is not what I want but it is what I accept as the facts. I asked her if there was something I didn't see or understand. She said she didn't think so.

It felt good to tell her what's been on my mind. I asked her to say anything about her side. She said she can't put I into words. More vagueness....

onward and upward. I will survive this.

[Hadlee58]

Hi Paul, I dont comment often on other threads as i dont seem to have anything worth saying that others can say better, i do read them all though. Just to let you know it took courage to do that.
I am sure there will be more ups and downs along the way but you are right you will survive this and no doubt come out of it in a better place.

H

[melissag]

Paul, I am both happy for you and sorry for you. I am happy that you were able to tell her how you feel, and that you are taking steps toward your own happiness. And I am sorry that your W agreed, and there doesn't seem to be a way (right now) to make things work.

I do know that you WILL survive. I think you will do even better than survive, Paul.

Are you going to go ahead and file, or mull for a bit? What's next?

[artsy]

Paul- I think you'll feel better now that you made a decision. Closure, on some level, at least. Now you can start to heal. I hope the moments and days ahead are better...

[labug]

Hey Paul, huge hug (((((( )))))) (I'm a hugger)

I hope the rest goes smoothly for you. Take a few days to work through your emotions around this, I'm sure they will be all over the place. Roll with it.

Keep up your GAL, take care of yourself. Hug your kids, lots!

[juliegayle]

Hey Paul. You took a stand and did what was right for you. That was really brave. You have a clear picture of what you want in a partner and you deserve all of it.

Stay strong for you and the kids!

[bluesgal]

Paul- You are hurting right now. Take a few days. Think about things. We're here to support you-whatever your decision.

[paul19510]

Hey Paul. You took a stand and did what was right for you. That was really brave. You have a clear picture of what you want in a partner and you deserve all of it.

Stay strong for you and the kids!

hi M. In asked W To get back to me in the next few days if she wants to file jointly. If not I will retain and file alone. I did tell her that she should let me know if there is something I don't. See. She will not do that.