How to patch things back in R after affair ended

[nit84]

I know how you feel about sweeping it under the carpet.

My W and I are not moving forward or backward just treading water really.

We have had some talks about money(she is running out)how to lower some household bills.

I have done what she asked me to do about this and the ball is now in her court.

The ball has been there for about 10 days concerning bills but she has not responded.

The things she said she would do, she has not.

I feel we discussed these things in a mature ways so it is up to her to get back to me. All she has to do is knock on the door and ask if we can discuss bills or anything else for that matter, but nothing.

This was always a pattern in our M. W wanted things done I said sure go ahead and do it then nothing happened till it was almost too late and I would do it.

This was always ok until we S then that way I acted was controlling and codependent according to W. I was accused of never taking her thoughts into account.

It is the same way about D. The two three times we spoke about R and D always brought up by her, she said ok this is what we need to do. I said You chose this path it is up to you.

She has done nothing serious about it(I don't believe). The night I moved back home she said I have all the money why don't I file. I told her it is up to her and her response was it is really difficult to do it. I said I understand your frustration but again it is up to you. She cried I have no money and job and I cant live with you.

Presently, she still has no job, no money(very little) and is still living under the same roof but not talking very much if at all.

I am trying to break past patterns that were toxic to our M. I realize that part is up to me and me alone. The W sees what I am doing for myself and is unhappy about it or skeptical about it. I understand those feelings. I am just trying to be consistent over long periods of time hoping when her journey is complete I will be the man any woman would be a fool to leave.

I do not want to punish her but I do want her to face the consequences of her actions.

How do I pick up more of the financial end(I will need to to save my credit rating)and not allow her or anybody else to think Here he comes again to the rescue.