Good job all around....and yes "I am busy" is a great response to almost any conversation with your H. It makes him think about what you are doing and better yet....The more you are actually BUSY the better off you will be.
As for the unscheduled visits...(or manipulation to get you to invite him over), he needs to learn on his own that this is a reality of the situation. Once you have become separated, you don't get to see the kids every single day. It s@cks, but choices have consequences and this is one of them. What I found with the X, is that she would come over on Wednesday's to see the kids. She would talk with them for about 5 minutes and then they would disappear to do their thing. She would then take the next hour to talk with me.....which is not something I wanted. Why would I want to hear about what was going on with her day, her week, or what she wanted to complain about at the moment? Eventually I told her to start taking the kids elsewhere to hangout with them (we have a beautiful park in town...a great place to do things with the kids). Once I did this, her visits ended pretty quickly as her visits really weren't meant for the kids, but to keep an eye on me.
You are doing great....Keep your head up.
GM-Please post....Post a lot. You are basically a newbie and posting is like chicken soup for the soul.....actually better than that, like beef stew with a desert of chocolate cake for the soul.
