my wife left, but still lives with me #2/continued

[tough spot]

I sure miss my wife. Part of me doesn't even believe this is happening. I certainly cant dwell on it but somehow must accept it? The holding out of hope is good I think but painful. Nothing I have done to date seems to have an affect.

What I have done is possibly too minor. I quit emailing/texting completely, don't discuss the R (except breaking down once in the last 3-4 weeks), go out occasionally, started exercising, go to IC and back to AA meetings these past 6 weeks.

Struggling to find more 180's to do. How does one have hope and yet detach? Or do you have to suspend hope that the marriage will work out in order to detach. This is about 30% for me, 70% for the marriage, these changes. How does one progress to 100% for me and maybe the marriage will work, maybe it won't attitude.

These are the things I am pondering right now........