One baby step at a time...

[2ndTimeHurt]

I have a question so if you want to skip the part about my son scroll down. But I'm sure you guys want to know about my kid. Hehe

Ok, I think I've calmed down a bit from this morning. Played some guitar and had lots of fun with my son today. We played some indoor ball hockey. He's gonna be quite the athlete. A little bit about my little monkey to lighten the mood. He was born 2 weeks late(my ex had an all natural birth and labour only lasted a few hours!) and came out with a full thick head of hair and very very proportionate(my uncle said this regarding his facial features). First thing people say is "he's so cute" and "look at that hair". I'm Japanese(Canadian) and my ex is Italian so he has these huge eyes with a hint of Asian. He weighed 9lbs and a half oz and just over 21". He's a big boy. He already weighs 40lbs and he's only 3 and a half. He is very proportional though. Muscular even. He was already starting to walk by 6 months and at 9 months he was comfortable walking on his own. He's a master on the Xbox and iPhone. Hes such a smart kid.

Anyway, i have another question for you As or anybody else who wants to chime in. Since Ive already experienced a reconciliation and I'm familiar with what one is "supposed" to do, is it considered a game or manipulation employing "tactics" to get another reconciliation? Let me clarify. I know I'm supposed gal, have PMA, detach, etc. Even dating was a part of the process. I did eventually become detached when she came back but everything I did including time passing enabled me to get there. I know all those things are for me only and a reconciliation may or may not be a by-product. So if I know I have to gal, PMA, detach, eventually date; does that mean I'm playing a game or manipulating?

I ask this because even after the first time I became fully detached I still knew if my ex came back I would want to try again. It feels like I may be playing a game/manipulating(maybe those arent the right words) because I've been down this road before and I sorta know what to expect. Maybe I'm supposed just do all these things for myself(regardless of what anyone thinks, including myself), not think of any outcome or what she's doing and if reconciliation is that by-product again so be it?

Any answers are welcome but I think I answered my own question. Or maybe I answered my question wrong:(