I don't know if I am done. I mean, in some dream world, my H figures everything out and is suddenly willing to work on our M, and we live happily ever after. But that's just not reality. He's going in the exact opposite direction of where he would need to go for that to happen.
So yeah, I guess in light of that, and where he is now, I am done. I won't say I am locking the door and throwing away the key, but I am definitely slamming the door in his lying, self centered face, and it's going to take more than a polite knock for him to come back in.
Quote:
Who decides if it's idiot territory? Again, there's that judge.
I do. And I feel like an idiot.
At first, even though everyone else thought I should tell to F off just because he left, I didn't feel like an idiot. I felt like I was being loving and compassionate and really trying to do my part to work toward a better M. But when we are at the point now where he's just straight up insulting me to my face, spending hours looking for other women (and most likely taking them out), AND now carrying on some sort of inappropriate relationship with another woman (married, to boot), I think that to sit around hoping he comes back is just idiotic and I feel like I have too much self respect for that.
Back to the tough question:
Quote:
Did your H say that? About what? You haven't filed yet. You have a very strong judge in your head, where does that come from?
You are right. I am just preparing myself for H to somehow villainize me. I am so used to it by now - that was the dynamic of our R forever. He was the poor victim (martyr, even) and I the villain. I know what you are thinking, and you are right. I can't react to things that haven't happened yet, and I am just creating unnecessary resentment by assuming things that may or may not be true.
Where does that judge come from? I'm not sure. Need to mull that one.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
