You were on moderation, as everyone is, in the beginning.

Your H sounds like a demanding guy. When you say "we" didn't believe in daycare, is that true? If your H was working 100 hrs/week that meant it all fell to you. Was that what you wanted?

If you had 2 businesses why did all those household chores fall to you?

Did you change things you wanted/needed to change or just everything on his laundry list of things I hate about W?

Why didn't friends and family like him?

Why do you need to not speak to him when he's there? You can be polite and friendly without being pursuing.

OK enough questions.

I am sorry you're facing this with little babies.

You're not alone.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss