When I spoke with H this morning, he mentioned that he may try and swing by the house before I got home (it was my night with the boys) to see them for a bit. I told him that would be fine and that I should be home around normal time. H called again when I was on my way home and I could tell that he was in the car. He was calling to see if he still had time to swing by if I was going to be late. I told him that I would be home at normal time. I knew that he was hoping that I would ask him to come over, but I did not. I normally would have asked him over but I cant let him do that anymore. I am always respectful of his nights with the kids. I already agreed to allow H to have the kids on Thursday night for the next two weeks since he will be out of town on Friday. I know that H was sad because he has not seen the kids since Friday night, but I also feel like that was his decision to be gone pretty much the entire month of February. Although one trip is for work, the other two are fun weekends with the guys (superbowl and then drinking weekend at a lake house). I even went out of my way to ensure that our weekend trip away coincided with his trip so that he did not miss three weekends with the kids. And then he went and booked the third trip. He is an adult and I cant feel bad about the decisions he made.
I told H that he is free to call whenever he wants to speak to the boys. I reminded him that sometimes bedtime is crazy and I often lose my phone while trying to bath and get my three little crazies to bed, so if he calls before bed or just gives me a little heads up in advance I will make sure to have my phone with me.
I am hoping that I can find a good balance. Hoping that things will continue to get easier with time as we find our new normal.
