Generally, it's a little bit of jealousy and curiosity...but you have to remember it's the old, "I don't want my spouse any longer, but yet, I don't want you to have them either" in some cases. If your h comes to your home, don't be surprised if he goes around looking to see if there is evidence of om. It's almost like marking their territory. LOL!
Why are they asking about if you are dating, etc.? Because if you are, you are alleviating some of their guilt because they are doing it. They are so relieved because they can then tell themselves that if my spouse is doing it, why should I feel guilty about doing it as well. Surely, if you are dating, then he can too and you cant' say anything about what he's doing either.
You are far better off not telling them what you are doing. Keep some mystery about your situation. It doesn't hurt for them to wonder.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
How is very friendly. Willing to do things together, somewhat. Like agreeing to go to the concert even though he ended up having to work. Asking a lot of questions to me and the kids what I am doing. Tonight H said he was invited to a party and bringing a date. Just a friend. ..I don't think he really is but if he thinks I have a BF and he feels we are never ever getting back together he's justified? If he really was I don't think he'd really tell me for fear I'd freak out?
Feels a little strange it doesn't hurt that bad.....
Like you I deserve better as well. Most of us do!! Keep up the work.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Thank you. I have been trying to ignore his questions about who, when, where. Trying to keep it more a mystery. I told the kids if he asks them just to say they are not sure what I'm doing. I'm not making them lie. I don't tell them what I am doing so they don't have to.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
ok.. well, my h has been waaaaaay more responsive this past week. On Friday night we were working late, I offered for him to come to my place with his pizza to continue to chat and hang out, he thanked me but declined saying it was an emotional day (as we had had 2 BIG talks). He said he would talk later (I assumed he didn't mean that same night)....BUT, about an hour and a half later, he texted to say the rest of the evening went well... I texted back "thats great, chat later...im heading out".... I think he got jealous as the next day... he was calling/texing (I didn't respond right away), he was assuming I would be working with him... I said I couldn't "wasn't feeling well"(because of our talks)... Normally, he would be p!ssed that he was working and I wasn't... this time he backed off and said its ok, I didn't need to go in.(180 for him) Much later, a client was coming so I put myself together and went to work... His first question was "Hungover?"... I said Noooo, why?... This is new for him to enquire about my where a bouts.
During one of our earlier talks that night, he admitted that the time he took our daughter for movie night a couple weeks ago and dropped her off at my parents (he wondered WHY at my parents place... was it because I was entertaining my date at my house?... LOL.
So, I have reassured him that I am NOT dating... but, put the question back in his head that maybe it was time that I did, considering that he is dating. This way he knows I haven't DONE anything... but still might.
JOB?.... if you are still here... curious to your thought.
Sorry for highjacking your thread HB5, I was just trying to explain that I "think" my h is sharing his jealousy & curiosity.... and I LIKE IT!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
ohhhh... forgot to add, enjoy your Super Bowl party.... curious to hear how it went!!
Have fun, look AWESOME !!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Well, not so great. My Heart walked in and was kind of grouchy. I said what's wrong your date didn't go well last night? He said yes it was fine. I said what's her name? That's when it went down hill. I said that's not fair you ask me everyday about my boyfriend. & I tell you. I'm not telling you her name.
it started to get a little heated so I left and went to my bedroom like a cool off. And he told my daughter that he was leaving because we can't get along. He came to my door wanted to talk to me but it just kept escalating.he then went home and didn't stay.
here's where our communication issues happened. I thought I was doing a good thing by walking away and not trying to fight anymore. Which was but I guess I should have told him that's why I was leaving and to let me have an hourto get myself together. this is what he told me later on that night. I said you were right I should have said something but I didn't. Because this walking away and trying not to fight is new for me. I also told him I wasn't seeing the OM anymore. He was kind of upset that I wasn't because I think he thought now I will be bugging him.
so it ended like that and I haven't talked to him much except by text the last couple days about the kids. I'm just going to do no contact for A while.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Wondering what the vets will say... I can see how it comes across like a bit of a game. Probably not a good idea to "game" them. Maybe I am reading this wrong???
Just my .02
Magic.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Sorry to confuse. My H kept saying I had a BF. So I went with it. I had been doing someone but not a boy friend. I stopped seeing him for various reasons. H went on a date and I asked about it. We/he had been asking and talking about my dating and when I asked him about it it was none of my business. ....
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
