Thanks for the replies, Cadet and Acc. I was able to speak with my MC on my own last week, and I came to the conclusion that I will accept the OW as a friend for now. I am hoping that by summer I can reach out and find friendship (right now that's tough for me).
H and I have had some very good days since last Friday and just need to continue finding each other again. We spend a lot of time together when we can, and are taking steps toward better communication skills.
I figure I'll give our marriage a year. Either this will all blow over (and I will be friends with OW), or my husband will ramp up to EA/PA again, and then he will definitely have to leave (he knows this). Still working on my boundaries, but they are becoming more clear.
I will definitely spend time working on me. I have been neglectful of myself and that has to stop.
