OK, one more. (And thank you, 25 and Underdog, for the discussion and insight on this topic.)

I talked to the paralegal at my L's office about filing for separation rather than divorce. It would have the same effect in terms of H's partnership interest, and would get the issues (financial, parenting, etc.) ironed out, which I think I need to do for the purpose of setting boundaries and knowing more about my future (like what car can I buy since I have to give mine back in three weeks at the end of the lease - gal). In CO, it's almost the exact same process and timing and everything, but the end result is S instead of D. (You can convert it to D after a 90 day waiting period, or with consent of both the parties, I believe.)

BUT . . . I would not have filed for D. I am just legalizing the current S. And if H wants to file for D, he can go for it. I know I can't stop him, but I can't shake the feeling that I don't want to be the one who files for D.

Is it dumb to do that based on principle? I really think it might help me sleep better at night.

What am I not thinking about here?

me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14