Can't agree with you more, Nero. I will take a laugh any day of the week!
The ghouls in my head have come out to play. I am trying to learn my triggers and I believe that when life becomes very stressful, that is when they start to whirl. Has anyone else noticed this? Sadly, the more I try to work on my stress level, the more stressed I get. This time of the year - finacials, year-end stuff is not helping and needs to be done. And then there are the family members who believe they have me on joint retainer for advice and services.
I don't like when the ghouls come and stir things up. Most of the time, I am fairly accepting of the fact that there will be no closure to this R. I'll never understand it and likely the scar of it will never completely go away. And if that realization isn't comfortable, well, I can push it away and turn my attention to something else.
But these last few days, Skippy has been on my mind more than usual. I am itching to text him. I have not felt like this in a long, long time. Job said he would be in touch and the ghouls are whispering, when, when? I miss my best friend. I am still so bloody ANGRY at him. I want him to feel the loss of me and his part in it, but don't quite trust the universe to teach him that. I feel small for not being able to wish him happy. I don't. I am working on it, but I don't.
My head knows that even if he is in touch, likely it would be a touch and go and meaningless. That even trying to be friends after all this is pointless, especially if we remain long distance. That even if he is with the GF or has another, that he is now free to do so. But when the ghouls swirl....
I feel stupid for not having ditched him out of my life already. Worse, I wish there was some reassurance that things might work out after all. I hate the ghouls.
