melissag XII - must. detach.

[melissag]

OK just one more, then I will shut up for a while.

Melissa, Right now two women, Labug and I, are telling you to just slow down a bit. We have been around here a long time and we both are reconciled.

I recognize that. And I am grateful to have the benefit of your advice and wisdom. The only thing keeping me from slowing down is this financial matter. What I wonder is whether I can file for D, and then not pursue it, but let H pursue it if he wants to.

Maybe this is just the LBS in me talking, but I just feel like this is over with a capital O. My H left, and has shown no interest in R. Plenty of interest in being my friend and in ML with me, sure. But not because he cares about me or loves me. Because it makes him feel good about himself. Most of what he said that was even remotely positive in the sitch has turned out to be a lie. And now he is not only scouring match.com to find a replacement, but is apparently having some sort of R with another woman. (The fact that she is married is just the icing on the cake, really.) He has said very clearly he has zero interest in being married to me now or ever. And he has said clearly that he wants to move forward with D. (Though he calls it "this thing.")

So, it certainly does not seem to me like there is any chance that he will want to R in the near future. And by near future, I mean, before he files, since that's what he wants to do.

AND, unless he changes quite a lot, I have no interest in R with him.

Am I too deep in the muck to see what you both see? What am I missing?