who was always high strung & hyper, and did everything for the kids in the class, just dropped out of sight. When she reemerged she was a lot LESS hyper but had made some startling choices.
Her d was bff of our youngest, then 10. PTA Mom had gone off the deep end in a true "MLC" (and I rarely use that term in such an accurate way).
Yes, she has horrible unresolved childhood issues, & engages in too much drinking, has poor communication skills, etc. Her h was 20 years older than she was, too, and she turned 40 and poof! There she goes!
But here are the things that really struck me, b/c this is a MOTHER we are discussing, and she does love her kids. I can vouch for that.
She left the home and rented a room for awhile and every single morning came over to the home to make breakfast and then came over to make dinner and help with homework, for months. Then she moved in with a OM and HIS kids... To my knowledge she never has seen anything wrong with any of her choices. She even brought the OM to the FAMILY home to pick her up sometimes...in front of the h and kids.
Despite this, They have reconciled a few times and she moves back out and in, and I'm not sure of their present status, but I believe it's "piecing".
But here is what she said/heard at various times that seemed to make her wake up some.
I asked her how she was doing. She vaguely mentioned OM as if he was a great guy everyone would like but was also of the mind that no one "knew" of OM b/c she had not openly called him her BF. (Her kids did NOT like him at all. He was an unemployed loser from all accounts).
So I asked her about what happens when her h dates and brings his OW to the home where the kids are....
With God as my witness, she looked completely shocked by the CONCEPT of his dating AND introducing OW to THEIR children. OR going into HER house.
She said to me, as if she was in a fugue state (literally), "you think that COULD happen?? You think OW could come in MY house and be with MY kids??"
I said, "well yes I do. I mean, You are openly dating & introducing the kids to OM (#2 OM I think). Isn't it a bit hypocritical to assume HE won't?"
She PAUSED to consider this, b/c folks, I do not think she ever had thought of this before b/c it sure appeared to stump her. She was quiet for maybe 20 seconds. Then she said "I GUESS I can see what you are saying..." and wandered off.
It was a real moment for me to ponder what just transpired...
Melissa, who knows what they are thinking?
"PTA mom" moved out, but had no plans or details worked out. I believe it had never crossed her mind that her h could do what SHE was doing....she seemed to have Just thought by dating, "everyone" would be happy FOR HER, and as long as she showed up for her kids, what's the harm? And nothing else would change for HER b/c they'd just wait for her every morning, and dinner, etc...??
My amazement was mostly at her inability to imagine HIM, acting like she does. How can she not have foreseen this?
Not really any awareness of how HER behavior appears to others...or how the other shoe feels, etc.
(And maybe I'm a bit amazed at the possibility of her not knowing what "hypocritical" meant?? She seemed so uncertain...)
Anyhow, just wanted to share that b/c it does happen where you meet a WAS who is just so, 'babe in the woods' clueless about the wreckage THEY are creating with their meanderings. I wanted to slap some sense in her but she truly seemed...lost and bewildered. When I contemplate her childhood trauma and then how young she married, I can see why she has so few coping tools. The tragedy is compounded b/c the tools exist if we but avail ourselves of them.
Sad for all.
But a reminder that some WASs are in deep spiritual/psychological trouble.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
It was a real moment for me to ponder what just transpired... 
