Re the porn issue my WAP was , perhaps more heartbreakingly, not looking at open internet porn so much but one particular photo (intimate) of a woman who he said he was seeing before I ever met him. He apparently took the actual photo??? So the difficulty in all of this is not that the porn is of people who you will never meet, never know. Faceless, nameless etc. Even though that is hard I could find some understanding. But the fact that he knew this woman??? I found that SO hard. He didnt seem to understand that at the time. Mind you this was about 1 month before BD.
