"During the crisis, I saw Ms. Wonka as a beacon shining brightly from the lighthouse and I was comforted with her presence just knowing that she was "there" for me to turn to even if I had withdrawn from her and life in general. Deep, deep inside of me I still loved Ms. Wonka. Emotionally, mentally I wasn't in a position to "give" that to her as I was very, very numb inside. For me, I'd like to think that at some level, I'd find a way to Ms. Wonka somehow. We'll never know the answer now, right."
I can feel this in a way from my H. Your words brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you for welcoming us along on your journey. And PS - I am a hopeless romantic, so you better look out! One never does know what the future could bring
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Hi Wonka.... I too agree with TVS.. that ^^^^^ is what I feel from my H too.
Thanks for sharing your MLC with me too... I have a MLC question posted earlier on my thread...if you get the chance, I'd love your perspective as to why my H, is stringing me along (undecided if intentional or not). And if you did that as well to Mrs. W .... Did you string her along and keep her at bay, whilst you were figuring yourself out? What advice do you think Mrs. W would give to the LBS of the MLCer? especially on the topic of being baited along.
Thanks again Wonka.... good luck in your journey. May you find happiness and peace ~~~
Magic
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Wonka: Thanks for this thread - the discussion of the peacock from you and LoisB struck a chord with me: "I also don't know that cocky is the way I would describe that. It seems more like a peacock to me when I see it. Kind of like, "Look. I'm happier now. Look at me and how happy I am now that I left that dead weight." "
This is SO much the case with my husband, who moved out and within 1 month had my kids staying at his house with the other woman and within 6 weeks, had her move in with him. One of the hardest things I've found to reconcile with whether my husband is WAS or MLC is that he shows no signs of depression - rather, there is a constant way of throwing in my face how happy he is - I might think it was an "I'll show you" response, except that inviting someone to move in with you goes beyond that. If it has anything to do with me at all, it's like he's trying to say "Look, there's no going back: I don't want you at all and it's not just better for me with OW, look how great the kids get along with her too! You're completely superfluous!"
I see also that you yourself still struggle with what your emotions are telling you, just as I am: Thank you for the honesty in your posts!!!
M 20 yrs me 47 H 51 s11 d8
BD 10/8/13 H Moved out 11/30/13 OW slept over with children Dec '13 OW moved in w/H Jan '14
Just a fly-by post as I've been on the road all day today and am close to being brain dead.
Today, Ms. Wonka struck again surprising the heck outta me once again! When I got home, I checked my mailbox (which I haven't in the past few days due to icky weather and traveling). As i was going through mail, I saw a bright, canary-yellow card and the writing seemed vaguely familiar to me. When I scanned the upper left corner at the address, my eyes nearly popped out.
It was a birthday card from Ms. Wonka. A first for her in over 10 years!!! I texted her recently thanking her for the thoughtful gesture and expressed my appreciation.
I almost chuckled under my breath as this thought crawled in my head as I was reading the card:
Did Ms. Wonka sneak away from the OW to go to the local Hallmark store just for me?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Class, I know you're twitching on the edge of your seats looking out for the next installment of Wacky Wonky Whronicles. When I'm less brain dead, I'll respond to questions sometime this week.
I know, I know... your ears perked up at the above revelation. Calm down class!!!
Hey Zombie-Wonka. I didn't lose my eyeballs on that. I still maintain she wants reconciliation. Whatever that looks like is yet to be determined, but it doesn't have to mean she wants you back as a lover. Just reconciliation of the past. "Closure" if you will and maybe friendship or who really knows?
Just my $0.02
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Thanks for your insight - it really is helpful for our sanity.
A few questions from me:
1) Did you think about Mrs. Wonka while you were in the fog? I have heard that MLCers cannot stop thinking about the LBS and children yet act as if they cease to exist. I am wondering if that really is the case. It is hard for me to fathom that my H ever thinks of anyone but himself and the OW.
2) If anyone close to you (family, friends) etc. HAD tried to talk some sense into you, do you think it would have mattered?
3) Did you begin to show signs of duress (physically) at some point during the MLS? My H looks terrible...as if the life is being sucked out of him.
Thank you for posting your story and answering questions Wonka! Nice insight into the MLC mind!
Maybe I missed it, as sometimes I am in my own fog, but how long from start to finish did it take for you to navigate the MLC tunnel?
BD-Aug 2009 OW Confirmed H moves out Dec 2009 D filed by H-Mar 2010 H asks to come home April 2011 BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW! H ran away again! 1-18-2014
