3,I wouldn't mindread about any of it. I'm not much into baby steps, other than to note them "hmm, isn't that interesting" because anything else brings those expectations out.

Just keep walking your walk.

Did you ever get to an AlAnon meeting?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss