Paul, just catching up on your sitch. Lots of good stuff here.
I'm sorry your W isn't respecting what you have reasonably asked of her with respect to the kids. It's one of the things I find most annoying about this sitch - I lost the H that I loved but I still get to deal with the parts I didn't like - him being irresponsible, not paying attention to the kids' school calendars, continually asking me to switch nights with the kids because he "forgot he committed to go to X, Y or Z," etc.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14