innishannon, It's best to go dark for now and allow him time to reflect on himself and his self medications. Yes, porn is also one of the ways to self medicate. Depression can bring about all sorts of self medication, unfortunately we never know which type of "drug of choice" they will use.
Again, my advice is to leave him alone. I know you have very strong feelings for him, but you've got to let him go physically, mentally and emotionally. He needs this time to find himself. As you are aware, there are no guarantees one way or the other that he will want to reconcile w/you at a later date, so it's best to live your life as if he may not return.
I am going to suggest that you take some time and do some research on the net about depression. Also Jed Diamond has written some wonderful books as well. I'll locate the thread that I created many years ago w/some helpful books on it and post the link here for you to review.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
