My XH also started using porn on his computer in the months leading up to BD.
Totally out of character for him. And not even 'standard' porn.
I was horrified to find he'd been searching, amongst other things, for 'schoolgirl' stuff. We had a 16 yo daughter at the time - and he left all the sites on his search history tab even though our 2 kids used his computer every night to play and do their homework.
His mlc was triggered by family deaths (highlighting his mortality) and the fact that our daughter was starting to date boys. He was crazy jealous. He was relatively young when she was born and by the age of 41, was desperate to re-live his own adolescence and the early adult years he believed he'd missed out on as a young father.
It's all so ghastly. We are truly better off out of it, and so are our children.
Your posts mirror exactly the behaviour I have experienced from my XH. I'm frankly amazed at the similarity that these guys display. For example, like your H, mine never asked about my close-to-death father even when i took the hospital call in front of him and even though he had been my father's best friend and proxy son.
It gives me some comfort to keep hearing that mlc is so formulaic. Reminds me over and again that this is not about me, and there's nothing i can do to change him.
