thank you job - I have read and re-read your post. i brings such comfort. I had a bad night last night - I was overwhelmed with my sadness. Your comment about handing it over to God really rang true and I need to do it..... What I was reading alst night were some threads about going dark whioch i found very interesting. I think it was particularly relevant for me in that, in teh past and certainpy during the 12-15 months to BD - I was always trying toappease and cry, pleas etc when things were a bit weird (his emotional detachment etc). I know taht eh was expecting em to do the same this time. I wasnt deliverately dark from BD - it just happened that way. i just couldnt contact him - my body and mind were saying NO. Eventually i did email him but it was purely business like - arrangements for teh collection of our things. I have even surprised myself that I havent ONCE brought up anything to do with his decision and subsequent behaviour at BD. It is unlike me so therefore I am automatically doing a 180. The thing is that unlike some situations where the LBS has pleaded, begged etc AND THEN gone dark, I went dark from the word go. He had an initial semi-panic in that he couldnt understand why I was in contact with him (showing no sadness,understanding etc) - that was in the first week after BD. However since then - NOTHING. He has not made any movement in response to me going dark except comments in relation to my moving our things out and the redirection of our mail. So - my question is - in many cases going dark illicits SOME sort of reaction from WAS/P but in my case there is DEAD silence. I know you have said the more I leave him alone the better as this action will enable him to keep travelling through the tunnel without any interference. Do I just trust that, in time, he will make SOME contact? If there is no contact at all from him, despite me going dark, do I just leave it.... My instinct is to carry on with what I am doing.. Last email from him (brief, perfunctory, cold) was last Friday. I would really appreciate some guidance on this one. Maybe I went dark TOO soon if that is possible? I x
