WAW Said She's Done, III Realization setting in

[tough spot]

I think that is part of the wall they build. If like my wife, brooded over this decision for many months, never saying a word, building her case most likely, that a D was the best choice.

She is so set in her mind that there is not a single small crack in that wall. From what I gather, when we push on the wall it gets stronger, when we step back and give space it may create a crack.

They have to stick to their guns that our marriage was awful and could never be better.....or....they are wrong. Or they open up the door to doubt and that is a difficult spot to be. To protect their own sanity/self image, they must believe that we have no saving grace.

Now if she is yelling....DB suggests saying something like 'i can see you are upset now, I will take a break and we can carry on our conversation when you feel better'. I don't know if that is workable in a 'normal yet all negative' type conversation.

Speak up veterans!