Just Joining Husband possibly MLC

[Mic]

Hi
I replied here a few days ago. Not sure what happened to the post. I am trying to be civil and pleasant when I see him. No more begging and pleading or arguing and screaming. We are each staying in the house and when it is the other person's turn with the kids the other leaves to go somewhere else for the few days. . He is being extremely polite to me.

His problems was/are he felt he never loved me and then when we did get married I turned into a doormat. I used the silent treatment to get my way. He feels I just used him for his money and he was more like my father than a husband. He is so angry with me and feels that we never had a true marriage. In my defense - Can I have a defense? Before we were married I was this world traveller and after we got married I just never said anything to keep him happy which we saw how well that worked. He feels I was more my parents child than his wife. We had 3 children in 6 years and with each of my pregnancies I get incredibly sick the entire time. I did let myself go looks wise.

He felt like I had an emotional affair with my business and everything ranked above him.
I felt like he never wanted to be with me. He worked 80 hours a week and I raised the kids on my own. Now amazingly he has stepped up in the last month since we are living separately that when he has the kids he is becoming Mr. Dad. Before I would beg him to do stuff with us and he always said he had to work. Hurts badly to realize it is truly me that he doesn't want to be with.
In October when he told me of some of his issues. He felt the house wasn't organized, dinner wasn't on the table, and I had let myself go and we weren't intimate enough. I stepped up - Had the house immaculate every day, Made sure a nice dinner was made. Lost weight (down to 118 lb- go me.) Our intimate life became a high priority. He stated that me making all of those changes made it worse since I could have been doing them all from the beginning. He just couldn't get over the past. He has never and will never love me the way I need to be loved. He is a good actor because I always felt very loved during our marriage. I admit I needed to grow up and each day I see that this whole mess is even more my fault.

It hurts so bad to realize I'm going to lose my family, my children 1/2 the time, one of my homes, my business (one of my businesses was rescuing horses and working with children that had special needs or had lost a sibling, parent and just teaching children the value of hard work etc). I am now in the process of placing most of these animals, telling these kids there happy place is gone and trying to explain to my oldest why all her dreams and plans have to change.

A few days ago I received his proposed parenting plan from our attorney. We were texting at the time regarding where to pick up the kids. I texted and said I just recieved the proposed parenting plan and he texts back "Please don't get mad. Let's just work through our attorney's on that stuff. We've been talking well again about the kids and I'd like to keep that going. I regret the yelling match between us the other night." I did not respond but how am I supposed to not get mad when I am losing my children 1/2 the time. I feel as if I'm losing everything and everyone important to me while his life just keeps getting better and better.

My friends and family have never liked him which doesn't help because I truly believe they are all a little happy and relieved the marriage appears to be over.

Is there any hope to save this. I am going forward as if it is over but I am still hoping and praying that somehow someday we can reconcile. I am planning on setting up the 2nd session with my coach. Not sure what to ask in the second session. First session was mostly explaining what was going on.