I think I have an MLCer/"crisis" child.

[Dylis]

All my plans for the weekend went through but had some bumps along the way. There's so much I want to talk about but I don't feel like or want to type them all on here.

I mostly felt mad this weekend. Mad at my family, my friends, my IC...or maybe it's not mad but annoyance. But then I was told that there are 4 main feelings: glad, mad, sad, and scared and that any other feeling can be grouped into one of those categories; so annoyance falls under mad...so I'm mad.

I almost missed my group study on Friday night because my mother couldn't babysit my daughter anymore last minute. So I called my sister, my brother, some cousins, and finally my husband and they all said they couldn't watch her...the ones who actually answered my call or replied to my text. H couldn't watch her because he wasn't in town and this is how I find out about it. Not that I need to know his every move but for the sake of being there for your D, it would be nice to know that your not going to be in town before you actually go out of town. Shared responsibility my A**. I panicked and eventually broke down in tears in front of my D in my parked car in a parking lot (not on the phone with H). I made sure I sounded okay and kept the call very short. In fact as soon as he said he couldn't I said okay and then said bye. Anyway, through the tears and my D saying mommy don't cry, I started praying and God made a way. I thought of someone who I wouldn't have thought of otherwise and that's who pulled through for me. Someone who isn't family, who isn't a close friend, who isn't or wasn't a part of my support group, and she was the one who said yes. Long story short, I made it to my class and I was grateful and we and our children hung out for a while after I got back. My D made some new friends and I made a new connection with my good friend. So although my night started out bumpy it ended smoothly and we scheduled future play dates.

Saturday morning I went to my third session with my new IC and left there feeling angry. My employer switched insurance companies which caused me to break ties with my previous IC because he didn't accept the new insurance provider. So in my search of a new IC I chose to visit with this one. What attracted me to her first was the name of her practice, Successful Unions. I took pointers from DR and the Choosing a Marriage Therapist post in the "When Therapy Hurts" Forum to aid me in choosing a therapist, because although I was searching for an IC the pointers still applied here. Long story short, she ended up being no good at all...causing more damage than helping. I gave her this third chance you know to be fair and forget 3 strikes you're out. She called my H my soon-to-be-ex and when I told her I didn't want to call him that she replied well isn't that what he is...No, he's my husband! If I accepted that title for him I felt that it would hinder my PMA. She's divorced herself and doesn't seem to be pro-marriage. Successful Unions my A**! There's more but I'll end it there.

Saturday night's hanging with the girls turned into hanging with a girl. I was invited by a co-worker to this event Saturday night, so I invited the girls because I didn't want to be out alone with the co-worker and his friends. I needed familiar people there with me. So I invited them and they all said they were going. I even confirmed with them on Friday. So one of them texted about 45 minutes before the event that she might not be coming because her babysitter fell through, she texted this to all of us. So when she sent this the other two I guess decided they weren't going anymore either, but they failed to contact me and when I called and texted them they did not answer or reply. What the heck?! Anyway, the one friend was able to find another babysitter and came to my house to pick me up. I asked her did she hear from the other two, she said no, but will send them a text. And guess what, they replied to her. One said she couldn't go because she was tired and the other said "oh, I thought we weren't going anymore from the text you sent." Wasn't I the one who invited them out!?! So wouldn't it be my call of whether it's cancelled or not? I took a deep breath and said I won't let this ruin my night and I went to the event with the one friend and we had a great time. Got home after 4am.

When I did get home. I got on my knees and prayed. I prayed about my situation, prayed for my two friends in the hospital, my husband, my friends, my family, my co-worker, etc...I just prayed. I finished and felt so much better about my bumpy weekend. Then a weird thing happened. I found myself calling my H. His phone was off so it went straight to voicemail. I left this message, "Hi (his name), it's (my name). I just wanted to say that Jesus loves you and that God has a wonderful plan for your life. Amen." Then I hung up and went to bed. He called the next morning, early. Missed the call because I went to pick up my D from the babysitter and didn't have the phone with me. Called him back but had my D talking to him because he called Saturday to speak with her but she wasn't with me. So they spoke, this time I had the call on speaker, and towards the end of the conversation when my D started to say goodbye, he threw in that he got my message. He didn't say anything more about it and I didn't respond (didn't know how to) then they said their goodbyes and my D hung up.

Sunday went to church, played at the playground with D, hung out with my family, then went home and had a Netflix binge with D. No superbowl for us...can't afford cable. All-in-all a good day.

So what I got from this weekend is that there will always be obstacles in your path, but with the right tools and the right leader (God) you'll overcome them. And I'm making sure that I only hold on to the good things that happened this weekend: new connection with my friend, the playdate opportunities for D, the great event and the new acquaintences from Saturday, my message for H, and the peace from Sunday.

I know very long one...until next time.