Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[dingo]

Dingo, I feel you I truly do and my heart goes out to you. And yes you did say for better or worse and that's regardless of her committment right now. Find the Dingo you want to be and be him. Truth is we can follow all this great advice and they still leave, I like this board but it's a 'supplement' for me just like i'm a personal trainer and I eat pretty healthy but I also take supplements to help make minor tweaks to my physique. To me my foundation is Christ and if you put your trust in man and our falliable wisdom you will be let down eventually, i.e. spouses that WAW. Did you have a role in the degredation of the M? Ofcourse. Does she want it to work right now? Who knows, but I do believe that it's never too late. Don't wallow in your mistakes. You love your W that's fine you should, D isn't the answer you're talking to someone who has been D and I took those problems from the previous M and brought them to this one. So you have to dig deep, i know it sounds cliche but it's true all you can control is you...

This isn't for the faint of heart! Hang in there the answers you are looking for aren't far and you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. Make the decisions best for you and your sitch... Learn from the mistakes and continue to grow... A really good read you might get something from is "Love must be tough" By Dobson And as always pray...

Thanks for the continued interest and posts CL. I have read Love Must Be Tough. It was a big help and the opening of the cage is somewhat where I am now. I don't check up on her, I don't ask her about OM but when we talk, the only thing I am willing to discuss with her at this point is the R. I am not interested in hearing about her family, what she did over the weekend, etc (actually I would love to hear about her family and what she did over the weekend but that's too confusing for both of us right now).

I do also pray a lot - for myself but mostly for her. I am in a lot of pain and confusion but I think she is in a lot more. I am taking a lot of steps to understand my situation, to get guidance, to accept responsibility and eventually to take charge of it. She is just wallowing and allowing her emotions to take her wherever they will - which is all over the place. I truly do have a lot of sympathy for her. Maybe my sympathy and inability to be tough on her is enabling her to stay stuck.

[dingo]

for what its worth, she just sent me a text confirming that she made an appointment with a DB coach for later this week.

On my side, I am going out of town for work this week so it should be a nice break from the routine and a chance to have some fun with some co-workers.

[labug]

Hey Labug... I would like to ask for Sandi's advice... but, didn't know how to reach her exactly... she may be too busy helping others, and I don't want to "assume" she wants to help another.

Thanks, Magic

So the worst she could do is say no.

[makingmagic]

HI Dingo... WOW! I sure can relate to you! Totally afraid that if I walk, he wont follow, but then use it against me that I didn't TRY hard enough!... crazy spot huh? Also, the part about being pulled in to answer about dating...whats the point? just for the purpose of "being available to them"? No wonder this stuff is so hard! AND, if any of the above is done with intent..WELL, thats just plain cruel. I guess this is where WE must make the decision to do what SAVES ourself, and to be content with that. If its meant to be, it will be... I guess!

labug,.... ok... how do I ask her? I was hoping she might just catch up on this thread and offer to review my sitch... Thanks!!

[labug]

She reads this thread.

[sandi2]

MM I will find your thread.

[makingmagic]

Thats great... hope you find me! I just started thread 21, but you may wish to read 19 or 20 first.

Thanks!

[labug]

Dingo, what's up?

[dingo]

Hi guys! Its been about a week since my last post and while I have been lurking around the boards and staying current with the batch of other sitches, I haven't really been contributing.

It's been a weird few days and I am still trying to digest all that has happened. After her call with the DB coach, my wife has made some positive advances and some pretty significant statements but I am still not comfortable that they are lasting.

I am trying to maintain space while still having enough light contact to see what's going to happen. I have been keeping up with the GAL stuff- going to the gym, meeting friends out, etc and generally feel pretty good.

Like I said, it's been a strange week and I am trying to be cautiously optimistic.

[melissag]

Great update, Dingo! Glad to hear things are looking up, and crossing my fingers that it continues.