Luke, I can relate to some of the struggles you're having with your D15 as I'm going through similar issues with D17. I think Sandi posted some great thoughts on this. I would like to add that DB'ing is for your W, not your kids. When your kids treat you coldly, you've got to do all the work yourself and keep reaching out to them. My D17 has run very hot and cold ever since W moved out, at first it really hurt my feelings because I already had a lot on my plate dealing with a WAS. But I eventually discovered that like Sandi said she's modeling her mom's behavior. The cold treatment starts whenever she's at her mom's, but her mom has said she's cold towards her when she's with me, so at least she doesn't discriminate, LOL! I think they're just at an age where this is very hard to accept and deal with, as they get older and mature a bit they'll soften their stance. My D19 is away at college so not home much, but she definitely doesn't ever do the cold treatment like D17 does.
So be patient, reach out to her, know that you're going to have to do all the work, and when she goes cold then respond by being that much more loving and caring towards her. When I say "reach out" what I mean is initiate conversations, text her, send her funny pics (I text the kids a lot of photos of our dogs doing silly stuff), take her to lunch/ dinner, discuss the next vacation with her and get her input, take her to the movies, hug her, kiss the top of her head or cheek, ask about her boyfriends. She may act like she hates it but inside she loves feeling cared about.
