own a buz 20: confused within the confusion

[makingmagic]

In reviewing another sitch on the boards, I wonder if the same would apply to me:

~ it was perceived to another that his WAW was putting pressure on him to see if he had been dating, this was viewed as "always being there" for her. That she was getting him to "prove" to her of his status. .... Hmm, I layed all my cards on the table on Friday night as he was fishing for answers. I guess this was not the best thing to do, as it doesn't leave him "wondering". I believe I recovered my position, when I stated that I may consider the dating scene, as he was too. And then didn't sit at home on Friday night, he knew I went out....

I do believe h is trying to keep his foot in both sides, keeping his options open (not necessarily intentional or knowingly either)... just is! He really needs to know that I will not be 2nd choice. As stated on this other thread, I should not act in fear. That my fear is greater than my dignity/self-worth. So, I am listening here and raising the bar. I am holding to my stance of setting a boundary and feel good that I stated, as long as there is interest in OW, I cannot have interest in you.... not sure why some of you state that this may not be the best choice for me? That you consider it an ultimatum.

I also like the advice on the other thread how I could speak up and let him know that "I" am the one that requires space now, to decide what "I" want from this point forward, and to do what is best for "me". AND "H, this is about me and what I deserve, and I deserve to have a man who loves me completely and I don't have to worry about him wanting to seek greener grassl". ..... although, I don't know if I am quite in the position to say this yet. .... this kind of stuff may make him want to give up, like I feel he is trying to tell me thats what he was doing when he thought I had a boyfriend.

Thoughts?