Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[labug]

I just read another thread and Acc wrote this, which gets to the heart of what I wrote above:

I think your bar for success should be your own personal growth independent from the marriage. I would focus on why you found yourself one down in your marriage and what you can do to prevent that from happening going forward. From my cheap seats in the bleachers your challenge is not deficiency as a spouse -- it's more an issue of self worth and boundary enforcement. Nail that and you are likely to have a happy wife because you are a confident no compromises husband.

I fear that seeking to "better meet her needs" will deepen your one down position. You probably have more of a challenge in demanding that your needs be met.

I would put all the affair and marriage healing thoughts on hold and dig way deep on you first. If you do that well the marriage and affair recovery will fall into place.

Don't take this the wrong way, you're not a basket case or a pushover or anything, just a guy with vulnerabilities ...