It's Time to Sing a Brand New Song

[melissag]

Mimi, it's great that you are happy with your own space right now. I can totally relate to having very little interest in ever getting married again, but I am holding out hope that some day I will change my mind . . . and maybe you will too.

[quote[Just as your H said he's so happy and his life is great; mine told me that where he lives now, his life daily is "stress free" and every day he wakes up with out me, he feels as if "nothing is missing". Yes, he said that lol[/quote]

I don't get it. How does a person say this to another person, and not realize how incredibly selfish and hurtful that is?

Super, your life is soooooo wonderful. Why do you have to tell the person you shared it with for X years?

I'm not even sure I believe it. Or maybe it's that I don't believe that they know what "happy" means. Or maybe I just expect more from my life than my H does from his. I can't envision being happy away from my family, spending hours looking online for a date so I can get my validation from someone else.

Do you think your H is going to be happy with living his stress free life forever? Or will he want more? Who knows. I guess it doesn't matter.

It's funny, several months ago, around the start of my sitch I was on FB and it was my cousin's ex-wife's birthday (they divorced several months prior). I don't know her well, I've only met her once, but I decided to wish her HBD b/c I knew he left her. She responded "Thanks 'Mimi', you have a good life, I hope you are grateful".

Ha. Well, it just goes to show. We really don't have any idea what is going on in anyone's homes or in their heads. Since H moved out, I found out that one of my friends would love to D her H, and doesn't even love him, but is staying with him until the kids are grown. I never would have guessed.

When I look at couples now, I tend to say a little prayer for them b/c I KNOW better. I never want any one to experience what I have. Divorce seems to be every where in the last several months... or maybe I just notice it more b/c of my sitch? Either way, it makes me a bit sick to my stomach.

It makes me sick to my stomach too. I just think it is so sad. I can't imagine wishing this on my worst enemy. It has been truly awful. I remember toward the beginning of my sitch, I finally understood why people contemplated suicide. I did not; I would NEVER do that bc I am too much of a weenie but more importantly bc I have two kids. But I thought, OH. Now I get it. You really can feel so bad that you see no hope and no point. Thankfully, I feel somewhat better now, but I still would never wish this on anyone.