Newbie needs help:husband left Saturday

[dxw689]

Oh willbwell and FloydMan: I am so sorry for your situations - and in so much pain in mine. I had the discussion with husband this morning that I was ready to talk about divorce. I had a Superbowl party to go to at my sister's so I was able to avoid obsessing, but now that I'm home, I can't get off of it and sleep. I am so upset about the finances: I will have to forfeit a large part of my retirement and savings to keep the house - and he is the one who cheated and moved out. I just cannot get my mind around this: I am so upset - my stomach is back to that feeling of nauseous anxiety I had when he first announced he was going to leave. I want to keep the marriage together, but I realized, I just cannot live with a long term of him in another house with another woman, having my kids stay with them 2 nights a week, all the while he is still married to me. With the realization that you teach people how you want to be treated, I cannot continue to be treated like this. While I thought I had a chance of winning him back, yes, but when he has been living with OW with my kids - no: he is sending a signal that there is no going back and if I continue to ignore that with no acknowledgment or discussion, that is just denial. In discussion, I was raising which methods of divorce are cheapest and fastest and he said something to the effect of not needing to hurry - reminds me of you situation, FloydMan, in how little he seems to value marriage and now that he is all set up, what it might mean for me to be kept in this state. I am not comfortable just ignoring whether I am still married or not in terms of when I am comfortable to move on. I am so upset about what he is modeling for our children in this regard. It is not solely a religious objection, it is just one of simple respect.