Limbo is the new normal

[slow_it_down]

From a high high to another low low. My H's midlife crisis over his career has come to a head and I'm just getting to the point where I'm tired (exhausted) allowing our happiness to be kept at a distance. We are going on year 3 of having our lives be in this odd holding pattern hoping for a local job to come open and I'm just tired of waiting for my H to cheer up and enjoy what he does have.

I spent so much time after my 1st marriage ended trying to understand my own shortcomings. I was 100% upfront with my H about everything from finances to where I want to live when we started dating because I didn't want to carry over any old issues. Yet, here I am being the baggage holding him back from the life he wants/wanted. I told him on date 1 or 2 that I didn't want to move away and he was ok with that until it wasn't ok and now I can't give him support in finding his next job. It is so frustrating to be the unintentional source of his life's greatest challenge.

Meanwhile my H has been moping around, not helping with the baby, and complaining he's not able to find another job while not even sending out a resume. I'm still eating by myself most every night and on Friday he left 5 minutes before the dinner I was making for him was out of the oven.

Where is all this rambling going? Well we had a conversation where I said it's seeming more and more like we are both looking for different things, and I mentioned that maybe we should just be friends. He argued a bit about that, said he's trying, and apologized about leaving early Friday.

I texted him twice today and he replied immediately, albeit only very terse answers. So where we stand is anyone's guess.

The ball is back in his court. If spending time with me and my kids isn't something he wants than this non confrontational end to things is best. Otherwise, it's on him to stand up for this relationship.

If his career and work is really the only thing in life that makes him happy, this is not a relationship I want to be in.