In a stitch where you have a WAW in an A............and especially when she has said that even if OM doesn't work out that she wants to see what elseis out there (or words to the effect she wants to window shop to sleep with someone else), I would tell that LBH to drop the rope immediately. When there are no children, I believe going dark works better, but so many men are afraid it ends any chance of R. Which really shows that he is being clingy and needy......and assures no chance or hope for a good outcome.
I say this about those women in an affairs. I believe that has a whole can of worms that a WAW who is not in an A has. That is why I try to add the part "who are in an A". I personally believe it calls for a tougher love than the majority of newcomers are willing to apply. The WAW in an A can be selfish, cruel, unrealistic, rebellious, irresponsible, untrustworthy, deceitful, and unstable. That is what you are dealing with!
What may work in a stitch where the WAW is not in some type of an A..........will probably not work the same or as well in the stitch where she has walked away or wants out b/c of another person. The things that can be applied in both are the 37 do's & don't tips, but if there is an A, the LBH better gear up for a tougher time of it. When she isn't messed up by some A, then the LBH becoming a man only a fool would leave works great! And no disrespect intended toward my fellow board member from whence that saying came, once the WAW is involved in an adulterous A, she may already be at that place of being a "fool" that doesn't see her H's wonderful changes. At the risk of criticism at this anology, she often needs something like an emotional slap in her face, in order to bring back her senses. Sadly, nothing is a garantee.....especially when she's too far gone or she sees the wrong actions from the LBH.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
