Just Joining Husband possibly MLC

[Mic]

My husband feels he never loved me and just married me because he was afraid he wouldn't find someone else. He then feels (quite rightly that as soon as we got married I turned into a doormat) My first thought was what can I do to make him happy and we never fought. I would give him the silent treatment but never speak up if I was mad. My pregnancies were horrible (throwing up every day all day for 9 months each time) I gained a lot of weight and he felt I just used him for his money though I worked two jobs and had the kids with me. We never believed in daycare. HE also felt like I didn't keep the house clean enough, didn't have a nice dinner on the table every night and just wasn't interested in being intimate with him. He felt like I stopped taking care of myself. He felt like I loved our hobby farm and the work I did out there more than him. When he came to me in October. I made all the changes he asked. Dressed up, dropped weight (weight 118 lbs - go me:) Made sure a nice meal was on the table and the house was very organized (as much as possible with 3 children:) and to get personal made sure our intimate life was fantastic. He said yes you made all the changes but it can't replace 7 years of hell and suffocation.
Ironically he was never really involved in the kids lives - Busy working 100 hours a week his two jobs and now that we are apart he is Mr. Dad and he feels the children are so much happier now that we are apart. It truly hurts that in the past 3 weeks he is becoming this great dad and that was one of my biggest complaints. It feels like since I am out of the picture. We each have the children about 1/2 the time he can step up. All I WANTED was to be a great wife and mother and have a great marriage. I feel like I've lost everything. Ironically the farm he hated is the one other thing he want's out of the marriage. Said he wants me to suffer by losing it the way he suffered our entire marriage.
I did all the wrong things, begging and pleading at the beginning. After my first conversation with the coach I am happy and pleasant when we are together and trying to get my own life going. Though I admit it is hard because I am in the process of dismantling what I believed my entire future to be. I know at some point I will look back and see that this trial has ended but right now it is the hardest thing I have had to deal with. I was with my children 24/7 and now to only be with them 1/2 the time is destroying me inside.