Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[sandi2]

I forgot to got get back around to the idea I mentioned last time. If you make up your mind to stick with NC and giving/taking space, you can let her know at meet-up, if it happens. If you discover she really is just doing more of the same behavior, you need to speak up and let her know that "you" are the one who needs space from her now. Tell her "you" need to think about what "you" want from this point forward, and to do what is best for "you".

Sound a little self-centered? It's okay. I am saying all of this hoping you won't do it just as a tactic to get the girl in the end, but b/c you get your eyes opened and stop making everything about her. You may even have to spell it out and tell her, "W, this is about me and what I deserve, and I deserve to have a wife who loves me completely and I don't have to worry about her being faithful".

You see, by saying that, you take back the power over your life. You've been waiting to see what OM decides to do......hoping she would return to you if he pulled out. What kind of MR is that? What kind of life is that? Start doing what is best for your life by "your own decisions" and not what your W decides......and certainly not what some other guy decides.

The only way this succeeds is for you to be not just "ready" to walk away from her.....but actually do it. Otherwise, you hesitate and wait just a second or two to see how she is going to react to this information........and by waiting to see if she tries to persuade you not to........you've lost. You relented again. You have handed her the power over your life again. She sees it nothing more than a tactic on your part, so it in the long run, it is not successful for a y means.

I believe the only way you will be free of your fear is to take back the control over your life. Let her go.

You are so afraid she won't get her act together and come after you, that it has paralyzed you into being less than what you can be.

Letting her go is the first step.