It occurred to me this morning that I spend hours on this site, reading books, joining groups, trying to make my life and my kids' life the best I possibly can in spite of the wreckage, while my H spends hours on match.com, trying to find someone to stroke his ego (with no obligations or expectations, of course). Pretty much the same for your H, except spending time doing his own thing or hanging out with OW.
This made me think of a conversation that I recently had with H. H was saying that he did not know what to do. He said "it is not like they write books about this kind of stuff." He has said this several times before and I just ignored it. The last time he said it, I looked at him and said "H, thousands of people have in fact written books about what to do in this situation. In fact, there are people who went to college and graduate school who are trained to help people figure out what to do for themselves and their Ms in these situations." H looked at me, started to laugh and said "I guess you are right."
While it is hard, I am convinced that our lives will be so much richer than if we had not experienced BD. We have survived our biggest fears coming true and we are still moving, still laughing, and only silently cursing out our H every so often. We are not bitter. We continue to make this world better for our children and have truly earned all the love that they return. We make our kids days easier, not harder which cannot always be said of our Hs. We have so much to be proud of!!
