MLC and Covert Depression at 62?

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My goodness...he's on a world wind rush to get healthy fast. Well, it does sound like MLC because of the way he's acting, but we can't rule out the possibility of a walkaway. Yes, he may be 62, but he could still be in MLC if he didn't navigate his life's transitions earlier on in life.

You need to remember that depression plays a major role in MLC. It's what sets them up to seek new and wonderful things to make them happy. They tend to experiment during this time, either w/ow/op, drugs, alcohol, oorn, gambling, yes, even exercising to excess or become workaholics. They also will project their feelings and activities on to you because it's all your fault that they are unhappy. Don't drink a glass of Kool-Aid from the pitcher he's holding. It's all about him.

Also, they vilify the LBS during this time and you can't take what he says personally. I bet you tried to pretzel yourself into whatever you thought would make him happy. Stop! This will not work, because when you think you've fixed one issue he has w/you, he will come up w/another one. They do not know what they want and again, it's all about him, not you.

As for your D, he may not want anything to do w/her for quite a while. They do tend to distance themselves from their old friends, pets, family and co-workers. This is all par for the course for MLCers. Nothing personal, but they don't want to be reminded of what they once had in their old life. However, that may change as he travels through his crisis...but time will tell on that one.

They do become emotionally detached from us long before they drop the bomb. Generally, the process begins 18-24 months prior to the bomb drop and the changes aren't that noticeable until very close to the bomb drop.

What advice can we give you? Continue as you have been, don't contact him and when he does contact you, don't appear to be sitting by the phone or computer waiting for him to do so. Live your life as if he may never want to reconcile. He's gone and he may very well be gone for a long time. There's nothing you can do to stop his MLC/walkaway thoughts and he has to gone through the entire crisis in order to come out the other side a better, more mature man.

Leave him alone, give him plenty of space, so much space that he'll eventually choke on it. You didn't break him, therefore, you can't fix him. Keep the focus on you and your D.