melissag XII - must. detach.

[melissag]

Thanks, guys. You are right, MMG. And when I read your post I realized it. Somehow, for the past week, since H sent his "next steps" email where he informed me that he is the happiest he has ever been, complete with all caps multiple REALLYs, I have managed not to feel hurt by it. I think I was so shocked that he would say those things, and I almost just laughed at it - like, who the heck SAYS that? Who is this person and what did he do with my H?

So maybe it took a bit to hit me. Ouch. I mean REALLY REALLY, ouch. Maybe the most hurt I have been in my life.

I should be used to these backwards steps, but I still hate them. I'm telling myself this has nothing to do with me, and I can't even be hurt by H's words because he is just messed up and incredibly self absorbed . . . but I am not believing any of that yet.

Yes, it's a marathon. And I am still just getting started. It's just unbelievable, given how far I have come already, that I still have so much farther to go. Sometimes it feels never-ending.

OD, yes. He calls his apartment "The Dad Pad." I don't know when he thought up such a clever little nickname, but he shared it with the kids about 5 minutes after we told them he was moving out - to drum up excitement about it, I guess. So yeah, that's what he calls it. And he calls it that TO ME. When kids aren't even around. As if it's not offensive.

The kids accept it for now because H told them when he moved out, that he would be back in six months, and has yet to tell them otherwise. Even now, though, my kids, especially my S7, complain about it. To me. Not to H.

We went to the game last night because we had bought tickets, pre-BD, to about a dozen games. We had four tickets to this game, and D9 invited H. I couldn't really say he couldn't come because (a) I don't think it's fair to my D9; and (b) they are just as much his tickets as mine. So I figured I would just have fun with my kids and be friendly with my H. In the past we have done this, and it was fun, but I think that his email last weekend really hurt me more than I realized, and makes me just not want to have anything to do with him right now.