It was a fantastic weekend. Really great. Just to be away some place warm without my precious girls and no endless To Do list hanging over me.
The girlfriend I stayed with kept telling me I really needed to go on vacation more often because I was overly impressed by everything.
2 things I wanted to journal
1. xH is definitely making more of an effort this week with the girls. He has called every night including saturday night which he never ever does. The conversations are still brief and he has made no effort to face time or skype but there is definitely a tiny tiny change in him.
I always thought my H would have an equally big explosion back into reality as he did into his fantasy life but that may not be the case. hmmm....
2. Took the girls ice skating again today. It took all my positive energy and motivation just to get the girls out of the house. We have gone ice skating prob. 10x but this was the first time we went to a recently renovated rink in a nearby park. It was quite a schlep from our house. We took a cab but then still had to walk through the park a bit (my girls are 3 & 5). Also I left my cell phone in the cab!! Then we finally make it to the rink and get on the line turns out it was the wrong line we had to wait on the other line first. We go back outside wait on the other line then D5 falls and hits her butt hard starts crying almost hysterically. I am some how able to calm her down but I realize I am crying.
At that moment I hated him soooo much. Hated him for making being a parent even harder then it has to be. Hated him for not taken care of us. Hated him for not wanted to be with us. I just hated him. What type of man/human/person leaves a woman with when she has two young kids to care for?
We forge ahead. I actually bumped into a guy from work with his 12 yr old daughter. The Daughter was perfect for my girls, she loved them and they loved her. We had a nice time.
Proud of myself for keeping with a PMA but still it was a hard day and it stinks sometimes not having a partner.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
