Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[dingo]

Point taken on the mindreading bug. You are correct - we have no idea what she takes away from any interaction.

I also understand what you're saying about how long it took to get there and how you and your husband were in a very different place than my wife and I are. I was not suggesting that I am there (maybe it came across that way). I was merely asking how I know if I am there or not, unless I interact.

Sandi - I am also not suggesting that I want to be in the type of BFF relationship you describe. I was merely pointing that article out as something that MWD thought enough of to write about. Its an interesting concept.

I am also not looking for someone to tell me what I want to hear. I don't even know what I want to do regarding future contact with my wife in the short term so there is no advice that I am specifically looking for. I am not asking for anyone to tell me its ok to meet with her.

What I did ask and I would like to hear opinions on are the following:

1. Are you suggesting that before I respond to my wife in any way, shape or form, that she has to begin a conversation with something along the lines of 'the affair is over, I want to re-commit'?

2. Is this realistic? Does this actually happen after weeks/months of no contact/ignored attempts at contact? Or is it more realistic for the WAS to approach slowly, maybe ask to meet up to discuss it in person?

3. In your opinion, what is wrong with the response that I sent to my wife after she repeatedly asked me to respond to her?

4. Did the fact that I responded and the manner in which I responded cause her to lose respect for me, in your opinion?
(because I chose to talk with someone who is actively (or not - who knows) cheating on me)

5. Where in my response or in any of my subsequent posts did it come across that I wanted to be her friend as opposed to just being friendly?

I obviously value your opinion and bug's and any of the others that take the time to post on my thread. I wouldn't ask for it if I didn't. I am sorry if this is coming across otherwise.


BTW - i respond just as well to direct, plain english as I do to calmness, maturity and class. :P