Why? Did you start it? Why couldn't you listen to what we're all telling you and keep quiet for a change?
"Says he is attracted to her. She is different. Independent. Not needing a guy."
Bingo. You're not listening to this. This is what he wants and you keep showing you're needy.
"More confusion from him, I don't know what I want, etc...."
Why do you keep thinking this is confusion? Why can't you just accept the fact that he's trying to figure things out? It's no different than you trying to think about something.
"We discussed dating websites, etc. I said that since he is checking out the "other side" maybe that I should too."
That is so controlling and manipulative. Not "truth".
"that he was pursued and that makes it OK for some reason."
It IS okay.
"Then we went back to work, for a few hours... and then I said that I needed to talk. I then asked him some things. By the way he has been with me lately, I wondered if he was needing assurances from me...or if he was trying to assure me?"
That's what YOU want. Assurances. Back off and STFU!
"He didn't know."
Of course he doesn't. Why do you keep asking him? Why can't you just back off even for a week or a couple days. You just can't let things go.
"I told him earlier that my time spent not working is spent working on myself. I asked if he was still sexually attracted to me, and put my hand on his thigh."
Manipulative.
"I then decided I could say something about a boundary... that if he is interested in OW then I cannot be interested in him."
Manipulative and an ultimatum.
"I showed him that my ring tone of him was a nice one of him and DD. We also discussed making out/sex on and off throughout this convo too. I assured him that no one has put there hands on me or my hands on anyone."
Manipulative.
"I again said I will not be 2nd choice. He understands that.... WTF kind of answer is that?"
Geez. He's being honest. This WHOLE conversation, you didn't LISTEN to him. You keep interjecting yourself into it. Very selfish and shows how little you've learned about listening and acceptance.
"About an hour or so later, I get a text saying that he made it back and to the bank just in time... smile I wanted to say things like... since you didn't want to have pizza with me... I'm going to a bar, etc... but texted back "thats really good, catch up later, heading out"
You WANTED to be manipulative.
"Im wondering if I should reply with the truth. That I don't feel like seeing him today, because I am struggling with stuff.....???"
Back off.
"OK... I'm sure there are 2X4's here... lemme have them along with point out ANY positives, please!!!"
He was extremely positive by telling you how he felt. You just couldn't listen.
" I don't want to push the squirrel away."
You are.
"Im not sure if it helps/hurts or what DB'ing would suggest, for him to know I can't handle what he is telling me."
This shows how little you've learned about DB. You never started working on yourself.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
