That is a good approach....as well as determining what is really important and what is not. You need to pick your battles very carefully....Like say her bedroom. Is it the end of the world if it isn't as clean as YOU want it? First, she isn't you....she is her own little person. But beyond that, is it super important to the existence of our world that her room is in perfect condition....not really.
Now a battle I have with my son, one almost every 14 year old boy has apparently and his condition makes it worse, is bathing everyday. Now this was a battle I had to fight as he would smell down right raunchy lol. We fought over bathing every day and it would get pretty bad....so I redid my expectations a few months ago. If I could get him to shower once a week I was happy....Now I having him shower 2-3 times a week. Is it perfect...not close in MY mind, but it is better than before and HE feels comfortable with it.
I read once that we try to make children behave as WE do, but the irony is that they are THEM not us. They are truly separate individuals.....Much like on these forums, THEY have multiple paths to follow and ours is to help guide them down a good path and not pull them down that path.
Also remember that it is this individuality that makes each child unique...In my house I have to handle each child different. With my daughter, as planet said, I have to be firm....with my son (it is proven that ADHD kids do not respond to firmness) I have to strive more to be consistent. Have you ever asked her what would work for her? A token economy, allowance, earn a toy, field trips with dad, or just a hug...all of these can motivate an ADHD child a lot more than just ordering them around...
It is always easier to attract bee's with honey....Know what I am saying?
