Its been a very long time since I have posted here. About 6 years ago I went through a divorce with my exH who I suspected was going through an MLC. (although I now suspect that in his case with was also NPD etc). This is now not why I am posting - I would very much appreciate some words and wisdom from you all.....I am really struggling and still, I suspect, in shock....
I have been in a relationship with a man now for nearly three years and have relocated with my D12 to live with him here in the UK. He is currently 62. New Years Eve 2013 (less than a month ago ) he dropped the bomb with the following - by email whilst my D and I were in Australia visiting my dying grandfather:
- I am finding it increasingly hard to continue being positive and cheerful when I dont feel that way. - I am depressed and it is because of you and our relationship -I have been troubled, concerned and deeply pressured about us - For my own peace of mind I have to end the relationship - I want 2014 to be a year of rejuvenation, new beginnings and that means that doors must close You are a good woman and you deserve to be with someone who can give you want you need and what I am unable to - We are both very different people - it is o ones fault - I need time to think so I do not want you to contact me except via email - I do not want any verbal or emotional pressure
This came COMPLETELY out of the blue although, on reflection, I think he has very very slowly going into a depression for the last 12-15 months. He has been more and more emotionally withdrawn, more detached, wanting to work away from home more and more (he is a freelance opera singer) and has been very irritable and cranky with me. Leading up to Xmas he was getting worse and also complaining of back ache and had two episodes or turns where he couldnt remember anything and he had to go and lie down.
When I got teh BD email we were in Oz and had to fly back to the UK in five days time. He had said that we could take as much time as we wanted to get our things but the message was clear that we needed to leave and that he would also be living in the house. I was so traumatised I couldnt so we came back to the UK (Jan 6) with no winter clothes and all of D's school gear in WAP's house. I did manage to go in and collect some things (he wasnt there) ON THE DAY WE GOT BACK - HE HAD REMOVED ALL VIABLE CONNECTIONS TO ME IN TEH BEDROOM and had changed to duvet cover etc.
He is rowing, popping optimum nutrition pills and putting pictures of his university days up on his bedroom wall. He is raw juicing and, as of a few days ago, I have found out that he has and is having an affair with one of his mature aged singing students who is married with four children. In fact when we were flying back, traumatised fro mAustralia he was away in a hotel with her for the weekend./
There is more to post but I wanted peoples opinion on this/ Is it MLC. I do not recognise my partner - he has completely turned into a cold and indifferent alien, even from texts that he was sending me right up to BD.
I have just finished moving all of our belongings from his house - we are in a new apartment with boxes all around us.....
Any support or feedback will be gratefully appreciated. I am happy to answer any questions and fill in as many gaps as possible. It has been a very hard 3 and a half weeks since BD.
