Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[melissag]

Dingo, if she has dumped the OM and is serious about working on your M, she knows how to say that to you. If she misses you, she could surely say so. In fact, I think she has said those very words to you before.

I'm not saying that she is a horrible person, delighting in pulling your puppet strings. But she is your W, and she is having an affair, so I'm not sure why you are so bent on giving her the benefit of the doubt. At the very least, she is being very selfish right now.

I totally get how you feel, because I was in the same place not long ago. I found myself arguing with the advice I was getting and not wanting to take it, because it wasn't what I wanted to hear. But for those of us who are not knee deep in your muck, your sitch, your W's behavior, and your behavior are much clearer.

Right now you are grasping for signs that she has dumped the OM and wants to R with you. But she has said nothing of the sort.

I'm not trying to be mean. I hope that she does want to R, and I hope that you two work things out. I truly do.

Look, maybe you shouldn't be taking advice from me, since I will apparently be getting D rather soon, but if I were you, I would quit all the pussyfooting around and just repeat the boundary.

"W, let me know when you have broken things off with the OM. Then I will be happy to meet up with you and talk."

I think if you continue what you are doing right now, you are just printing your own ticket for your own roller coaster.