LITB - I try to be self-aware as possible and don't think that I am contributing to his reactions. Literally if I just say "we have to go to mom's today" -- it starts. I have tried telling him in advance, I have tried telling him last minute - and nothing seems to help the situation much. As I mentioned before on Christmas Eve he said "I hate my mama!" - which stopped me dead in my tracks. He had never said that about anything or anyone before - I didn't even know the word was in is vocab. My IC said that that is a pretty "heavy" word for a three year old to drop. And again, I assure you that I do not project any negative feelings towards his mother around him. Ever.
I am not sure if there is much I can do to change the situation just yet - I am trying, and I suppose getting XW to discuss with IC is a good first step.
